


Stretched Thin

by cantodelcolibri



Series: Nothing More to Say (if you insist) [4]
Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, F/M, KuroFai, M/M, One Shot Collection, Tokyo Country, the days of fluff and happy times are over folks we're in fuckin tokyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-07 09:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5452061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantodelcolibri/pseuds/cantodelcolibri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That eye is the source of your magic, isn’t it?” He felt as the boy’s fingers left his throat and trailed a soft caress across the side of his face. The feeling of this Syaoran’s hand on his face had an uncanny resemblance to the moments before Fai had put Ashura to sleep.<br/>That hadn’t been Ashura.<br/>And this wasn’t Syaoran.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Syaorans

**Author's Note:**

> I'm, um...sorry. I'm just sorry. About taking so long. About this. I'm just. Sorry.

_Tokyo_

* * *

Syaoran came out from behind the curtain separating a small changing area from the rest of the wide room. He threw his old pants across his shoulder to better look at the shirt he had taken off. It was torn and burnt pretty badly...It was probably not salvageable. Syaoran wondered if the rest of the group went through clothing as fast as he did. Whenever they went to new worlds and had to pawn off old trinkets and clothes, it was usually always something of Sakura’s or Fai’s. Sometimes Kurogane’s. But never his. Maybe he should try harder not to ruin all his clothing so fast. With a pang, he realized that it was usually Kurogane that had to work to pay for everything, and he wasn’t helping. He should be helping more.

Like today, for example. He would help Kurogane-san earn their keep while Fai-san stayed and watched over the princess. He would do his part.

Maybe then Mokona would lay off using both of their voices so earnestly.

When he looked up, it was to Fai-san smiling at him just a bit too brightly, and Kurogane looking down at Fai with an annoyed expression.

“What’s going on?” Syaoran asked.

“Well,” Fai began by slinging an arm across Kurogane's shoulders. "Kuro-daddy and I decided that it would be best if he stayed behind and got some rest, and also to look after Sakura-chan of course," he hastily added at Kurogane's pronounced growl, "while you and I go and do whatever it is these lovely hosts of ours require of us."

"Oh, um, are you sure Kurogane-san?" Syaoran asked.

Kurogane nodded and Fai's face broke out into a huge grin. "Great! Now let me go get changed and we'll be on our way."

As Syaoran watched Fai disappear behind the curtains he had just left, he felt Kurogane huff and walk off.

"W-wait," he called out and saw Kurogane stall by the door. Kurogane stopped and barely turned his head to look behind him. "Is something....wrong?"

If he didn't know better, he would have thought that Kurogane looked a little wary of him. He saw his eyes dart to the curtain behind him where Fai was changing and back at him. He didn't answer Syaoran's question, instead muttered a gruff, "Look after each other."

And with that he walked off to where Sakura lay sleeping.

Syaoran didn't know what to make of it. 

"Ooookay! Now let's get going, shall we?" Fai said in a chipper tone as he came up from behind him, stopping to lean down and look at Syaoran closely. "Did you sleep well?"

Syaoran nodded. Fai smiled at him, his face as bright and sunny as ever.

"Oh good! Remember any dreams?” he went on to ask as he draped a cloak across Syaoran’s shoulders and adjusted the clasps so that it lay neatly. He motioned for Syaoran to follow him and together they walked past an almost petulant Kurogane and outside into the hall of the Building.

“N-no. I’m not really good at remembering...thank you.” Syaoran muttered after Fai was done fussing over him. Fai just continued to smile at him warmly, then went about putting on his own cloak. They walked in comfortable silence as the made their way to the stairs they had gone up the previous night.

Once they made it down two floors, they spotted Kamui walking towards another stairwell on the other side of the huge spacious floor. There were people standing about, readying weapons, running inventory. Fai gave pause, and kept still long enough to watch as Kamui disappeared down the lower floor.

“I wonder what’s down there…” Fai muttered. Syaoran looked up at him, confused.

“Well, they said it was water. And Mokona said she felt the feather from down below.”

“Yes, but it seems strange. The rest of them do seem to place priority in the water. But Kamui seems… like he has something more down there he’s worried about.”

“I’m sure he’s just doing his best to get by, just like everyone else.” Syaoran was always insistent to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, regardless of whether or not they shot him in the leg and had questionable behavior. He was kind. But Fai’s eyes had travelled to the ground beneath them, and his mouth was twisted in an uncharacteristic frown.

“Fai-san?”

He snapped out of his reverie. “You’re probably right, Syaoran-kun. Maybe I’m just spending too much time with Kuro-woof. I’m becoming too paranoid and untrusting. Soon enough my brows will be stuck in a furrow too!” He put his finger on his forehead to bring emphasis to the crease he was afraid would become permanent.

Syaoran gave a small smile, if just to humor Fai and put him more at ease. But his curiosity got the best of him, as it always had, and he opened his mouth to ask, “Can you sense anything down there? I mean besides maybe the feather? Is that what’s causing you to worry?”

Fai exhaled. Loudly, and through his nose. Syaoran didn’t know what to make of it. He didn’t know what to make of this man, his friend, who was just as much his mentor as Kurogane-san. This pair, the two adults, were sometimes so confusing.

“Yes.” Fai answered.

Syaoran nodded, and casually started walking again, past the rows of desks-turned-survival stations. Past the people who were still scared of them, suspicious that the five travellers meant them harm. “Is it because of your magic? Back in the library, you told Kurogane-san that you don’t need magic to sense magic, and that you knew because you had studied things like that. But Fai-san, was that true?”

He hated to doubt. He hated to even entertain the idea that their friend would lie about something, but Syaoran knew and trusted that Fai did everything in their best interests. He also knew that, since that first time they met in the shop, Fai was running. And he wasn’t going to use his magic in fear of whatever he was running from. Fai was so brave, and so selfless, Syaoran couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around the notion that he would keep something important from them. So he asked, because he needed to know that he could count on Fai if they were ever separated from Mokona and had to track down the feather.

“In part. I personally did know about the bookcase and the barrier because I studied magic. But I also felt it before I had even the time to think about where the barrier would be. I’m sorry Syaoran-kun. I did technically lie.”

Syaoran shook his head and smiled. “I should be the one apologizing.” his smile turned into a frown. “If I had only found a better way, you wouldn’t have had to resort to using magic…”

“Syaoran-kun, we talked about this. You did the best you could. You all did. I did what I did because I wanted all of us to be able to get away, and to be safe. I care about all of you.”

“But I do too! And that’s why I wish-!”

“Wishes are dangerous things, Syaoran-kun.” Fai said softly, and put his hand on Syaoran’s shoulder reassuringly. "We all do our part when necessary. Me, as much as the angry brute we left behind to watch over our princess." Syaoran felt a rush of affection for Fai when he heard him mention Sakura in such a way. "So there's no need to thank me, and no need to apologise. After all, you get injured much more often than the rest of us, trying to keep us all safe. If anything, I should be thanking you."

Syaoran felt his face heat up and he felt Fai's laugh reverberate all the way down to the hand that was still latched onto his shoulder. “You worry too much for others, Syaoran-kun.” When Fai saw Syaoran’s face fall in embarrassment at what he thought was a reprimand, Fai was quick to wave his hands in an effort to clear the air. “It just means you have a good heart. It’s an admirable trait to have.”

“You worry too, Fai-san.”

_Even though you don’t like to show it._

“Come, we shouldn’t keep the others waiting.” Fai said and spurred them onwards. Syaoran nodded.

* * *

“This isn’t much like a dragonfly!” Syaoran yelled as he revved up the accelerator instead of pulling down on the brake levers. Fai’s laughter was almost swept away by the wind at their sudden burst of speed, but Syaoran managed to catch the sound before it faded. “Fai-san!” he whined as he corrected his mistake, coming to a stop. “Please, I’m sure you would do a better job of this than me!”

“I don’t know, Syaoran-kun. Like you said, this motorcycle looks a lot different from dragonflies!”

“Fai really likes riding back here with Mokona!” Mokona cried gleefully. She had been holding onto the back of Fai’s hood to keep from falling. She scrambled to get back into the safety of its inside before Syaoran took off again.

“Come on Syaoran-kun. This is the accelerator.” Fai reached over past Syaoran’s back to guide the boy’s hand back to where it should be. “Twist the handle firmly and keep your arms steady. You were doing great.”

“You’re doing a fine job.” Yuuto assured Syaoran as he fell back to wait for Syaoran to catch up.  “It usually takes days for people to learn how to drive these properly anyway!”

Nataku nodded earnestly in agreement. “Growing accustomed to riding does take time.” he assured him. Syaoran nodded gratefully. They rode together in silence for a while longer, all eager to get back to the Government Building.

Dunes of sand zipped past them as they all rode together, their motorcycles roped and rigged to the spoils of their hunt. The sky above was clear, but Yuuto had warned that a clear sky was a rare thing in Tokyo, and storms were never far off. They had best hurry back regardless of the state of the weather.

All around there was orange and blue, and Syaoran found that driving the moto at least did have one similarity to driving a dragonfly. As he stared at the dusty road of the bridge ahead, Syaoran found he could fall into a trance-like state. He was alone with his thoughts.

He remembered that recently, his thoughts hadn’t been his to recollect. The gaps in his memory were increasing in their frequency. Something was wrong, and he was beginning to worry. What if he was sick? What if this was something worse? Who would look for the princess’s feathers if something were to happen to him?

Fai had realized it too. It wouldn’t do to have the others worrying about him. They had important work to do, and Syaoran didn’t want to become a hindrance.

“So.” Kusanagi sped up to ride in tandem to Syaoran and Fai and Mokona, “We don’t know much about you other than you’re all travelling together and you and that big one fight well. I’m going to have to ask you for some details if you’re going to be working with us longer.”

“For the sake of appearances, he means.” Yuuto added with a sly grin.

“If Kazuki were here, he’d say something like 'Kusanagi likes to act tough'.” Nataku called out as he hastened to keep pace with Kusanagi.

Kusanagi sputtered his denial and Yuuto laughed at him.

Fai laughed good-naturedly. “What would you like to know?”

“Where are you all from, first off?” Kusanagi asked. “You wore the same style of clothes, but none of you look similar. You’re not related. And you said you came here from some distant place. Yet, none of you were aware of the water shortage. Are you like Kamui? Did you come from another world?”

“And if so,” Yuuto said, “are you stranded here?”

The rest of the Government Building’s group turned to look at them as they awaited their response. Syaoran tried not to squirm under their scrutiny.

“No, we’re not. We’ll be able to move on once we find the feather.” Syaoran answered.

“As for where we come from, well, none of us come from the same world.” Fai said. “I’m from a land where it snows all the time. Mokona comes from a world that has many big buildings. And as for the big brute we left back at the building, Syaoran may know more than me.”

Syaoran took the invitation and picked up where Fai left off. “Kurogane-san is from a forest world with many rivers. It’s very beautiful there. Sakura-san and I come from a desert world a bit like this one, only the rain there is just water, and we have a lot of plants.”

“A desert with plants? The green kind?” Kusanagi gave a laugh. “We used to have those here, a long long time ago. Still do, but in areas we won’t go to. Too dangerous.”

“The giant violent mutations have kept us rather centered here, I’m afraid.” Yuuto said. “Not that they would be much of a deterrent to you and your friend. Where did you both learn to fight like that?”

“Yeah!” Kusanagi turned around with a glitter in his eye that took Syaoran and Fai back to Outo.

“I actually learned how to fight from Kurogane-san. He taught me. That is, he taught me swordplay. Before then I only knew hand-to-hand combat moves.” Syaoran said. He veered a bit to the left to avoid a big rock in their path. The others did likewise.

“So the big guy taught you, huh? And where did he get it from? Do you know?”

“I...uh…” Syaoran did know, of course. But he had found out through the book, and that had been a violation of Kurogane’s privacy. Kurogane had learned what he knew from his dad, but he never mentioned him. He only ever mentioned his time as a ninja under Tomoyo.

“He worked as a ninja to protect the Tsukuyomi of his country.” Syaoran finally settled on what he felt was safe. It was nothing that Kurogane hadn’t told them.

“Tsukuyomi?” he heard Fai ask from behind him.

“Who is that?” Mokona asked.

“Um, Tsukuyomi. It’s the princess’s title.” Syaoran clarified. He heard them both say, “Ah.”

“So what kind of hand-to-hand do you know?” Kusanagi asked excitedly. Yuuto sighed. Nataku shook his head, exasperated. Syaoran grinned and began to tell his story.

They talked for the rest of their trip back to the Government Building. Once they were able to see its two towers jutting up in the distance, voices grew and everyone was glad to have something to show for the day’s efforts.

Once they reached the Government Building and dismounted beneath the shelter of its ceiling, people were called to help untie the mutant from the ropes that held it to the motorcycles. Everyone was busy and so no one saw Kazuki run up to them, shouting his welcome until he nearly barrelled into Nataku.

While Nataku scolded the little boy, Syaoran turned to ask Fai if they should go check up on Kurogane-san. He never got the words out, as he saw Mokona’s eyes pop open and she told them she had felt the feather’s presence down in the basement.

“How do we get down to the basement?” Syaoran hurriedly asked the room in general.

“No.” Satsuki appeared behind a crowd of volunteers that were still working on cutting up the mutant. “No one is allowed in the basement without clearance.”

“Please!” Syaoran tried again. “Something we’ve been searching for is down there!”

“There’s nothing but water down there!” Satsuki pressed.

“It’s there!” Mokona assured them, “It’s underground!”

“I’m begging you. Please, tell me how to get down there!” Syaoran said. “I promise you, we want nothing to do with your water! We just want the princess’s feather.”

“Syaoran.” Fai muttered, and grabbed his arm, holding him back. Syaoran turned to give Fai a questioning look, and saw that Mokona was looking down at the floor, her little face twisted with worry.

“What just happened?” Mokona sounded endlessly confused.

“Their ward, Syaoran. What protected this building from the acid rain, it’s-”

“Kusanagi!” One of the workers ran up to their group, all the while frantically pointing to the pouring rain outside. “The Government Office! It’s starting to erode!”

“-gone.” Fai finished.

“Shit.” Kusanagi said. Nataku and Kazuki looked at each other with wide eyes. Yuuto clasped Kusanagi’s shoulder.

“The water!” Satsuki cried and ran to a stairwell to the center of the building. She stopped when she wrenched the door to the stairwell open, glancing over her shoulder and yelling, “Well? Are you coming or not?” to the rest of the group. Everyone ran forward at the same moment.

Several flights of stairs later, they all came to a stop behind Satsuki on a platform overlooking the huge underground reservoir. If the Tower was in need of more water, Syaoran knew they were looking to the right place to try to get more. The ceiling was impossibly high, and there were two staircases leading down, down, down. Syaoran couldn’t see the bottom of the water, but it wasn’t because it was dark.

The water was lit up at the center, its source was something bright and deep within it.

“It’s there!” Mokona pointed directly at the light that shone through the water.

“I thought Kamui was down here?” Kazuki said, looking around.

“He’s down there.” Fai nodded at the light. He made eye contact with Syaoran, and Syaoran thought he saw apprehension and fear in his blue eyes.

“I need to go after it. For Sakura.” he said. Fai nodded, but the look didn’t leave his eyes. Syaoran nodded back. Mokona told him to be careful and he spared her a reassuring smile before turning around and diving in.

“What’re you doing?!” He heard Satsuki’s incredulous yell before he hit the water.

Once beneath the once-calm waters, Syaoran struggled to keep his eyes open. He kicked forward in time to make out Kamui slashing at the bubble of light. Inside that bubble, he could faintly make out the silhouette of the princess curled around a darker shape. The princess! What was she doing in the reservoir?

As if he sensed his presence, Kamui turned around to shoot him a glare.

 _“You’re interfering. Get out.”_ Syaoran heard Kamui’s voice as if it were coming from all around him. Yet Kamui’s mouth hadn’t moved once. Syaoran opened his mouth to gasp, but soon remembered he was underwater and closed it again.

 _“I’ll say it once more; get out.”_ Kamui snarled. When Syaoran didn’t make to leave, Kamui moved faster than anyone had any right to in water. He slashed at his front and Syaoran struggled to keep a shout of pain back as his blood bloomed through the water in front of him. The water suddenly felt heavy, as if it were pressing him down, down, instead of up.

Kamui kept coming after him, and Syaoran tried to dodge, to move out of his way but he was just so slow in comparison and the water was such a heavy weight. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t feel one of his arms, and with a panicked thought, he knew he couldn’t win this one. The air had been struck out of him and he was going to drown. Kamui was coming at him, and if he didn’t do something fast, he was going to die without getting to the princess and giving her back her-

Syaoran couldn’t even finish his thought for the blinding pain that shot through his left shoulder and spread. Kamui was suddenly right in front of him. Golden eyes looking at him as if he were something mildly interesting.

 _“So you are the prey.”_ Kamui said. 

 _“Prey?”_ Syaoran thought as the water gently carried him away. _“He called me the same thing when we first arrived!”_ He grasped his injured shoulder to try to staunch the blood slowly seeping into the water around them. “ _What is ‘prey’ supposed to mean?”_

_“What is ‘prey’? So, you do not know?”_

_“He read my thoughts?!”_

_“Prey is food.”_

Syaoran’s eyes widened. Kamui looked on impassively, and Syaoran surged forward with a kick to defend himself.

Kamui blocked effortlessly, his brow creasing. _“This fighting technique of yours…”_

Syaoran tried to attack again, only to be blocked and struck himself. As he registered the pain at the junction of his neck and shoulder, he felt something tug at the back of his mind. He felt stretched thin, as if there was little of him left. But that didn’t make sense. This was different than losing consciousness.

Was he about to lose his memory again?

What was that that Kamui had just said? Blood… Subaru…

The ones Seishiro-san had been looking for…the vampire twins…

He was losing so much blood.

Thin. Like he was fading away, no longer solid enough to exist. Was this what dying felt like?

* * *

_No. I can’t die. I still have a job to do. I have to get the feathers._

* * *

Did he black out again? Kamui was still speaking.

_“Your techniques are the same. There’s no trace of him here in Tokyo, and yet you, who know him, came.”_

The water was tinted pink all around them. He could see its color illuminated by the glow of Sakura’s bubble. Syaoran winced, knowing that Mokona and Fai could probably see it. He knew they would be worried. Worried he was dying-

* * *

_No. I am not dying here. I cannot die here. My life’s end does not belong here._

* * *

_“…I am going to kill him. But before that, I’ll kill you.”_

Syaoran saw Kamui’s nails grow, and was morbidly fascinated. Seishiro-san had never told him vampires had claws.

Those claws slit his throat.

Stretched too thin.

This wasn’t what he thought dying would feel like.

The pink almost became red. Odd. There was an awful lot of water to dilute the blood. Oh no. The water. Those poor people! How would they survive now? Kusanagi, Nataku, Yuuto, all of them… He was sorry. So sorry.

He just hoped the princess wouldn’t cry too much. She had a good heart. But she would be taken care of. The others would see to that. Syaoran hoped they could be happy.

The light shining through the water was golden, beautiful, even colored with his blood. And inside Sakura slept, oblivious to her surroundings. It was much like it had been at the beginning of their journey. With a pang, Syaoran realized he never got to tell Sakura he loved her.

Sakura….

* * *

 

...

* * *

 

His body wouldn’t move.

That was not acceptable. He had to be able to move. He had to fight, get to that vampire and get to the feather.

His hand twitched.

He fought to move, and felt his arm, then his other arm, head, torso, and finally his legs. He let himself float upright and stare at the vampire across from him. Waiting for him to acknowledge him.

* * *

_Sakura_

* * *

He swam forward and aimed another kick at the vampire, and another, and another. With the last, he was finally able to land a blow and graze his cheek. He swam to the bubble of light, to where the girl slept, and lay a hand protectively over its exterior.

 _“Do not touch her.”_ He warned with his mind. _“I will not let you take the feather. I need to get all of them back, no matter what.”_

 _“You’re a different person.”_ The vampire said before he slashed his claws again, this time aiming at Syaoran’s heart. He ducked, and grabbed the arm that almost killed him. He kicked forward, and dragged the arm with him, twisting it behind the vampire. He kicked at his back, and forced him down onto the floor of the pool.

The vampire tried to slash at him with his other hand, but Syaoran grabbed that one as well, by the claws. He disregarded the blood that came from the palm of his hand as he let go but then quickly grabbed the other’s elbow and twisted sharply, rendering that arm useless. His bloodied hand moved to grab the vampire by the back of his neck and _squeezed._

He felt someone break the surface of the water.

He looked up.

It was the magician.

* * *

_Fai-san!_

* * *

Distraction. He was a distraction. While he was busy looking up at the magician and wondering how to best deal with him, he loosened his grip on the vampire.

It turned in his grip and slashed at him. Syaoran only barely managed to brace himself before he was thrown far back.

* * *

_Where am I? I’m not dead? Why am I still fading?_

* * *

_“Prey with so much power,”_ the vampire was saying.

It kept talking. It was a distraction. He had to get the feather.

 _“Prey is raised as feed for those who drink blood. They are without a soul. They are mere imitations of human beings.”_ It turned to look at the magician. _“Are you its master?”_

The magician shook his head, expression pained.

_“Then does it belong to the hunter? Ever since Subaru gave him his blood…”_

They were still talking, it seemed. Not that Syaoran could hear much other than the vampire’s broadcasted thoughts. They seemed to be arguing about something, if the look in the magician’s eyes was anything to go by…

His eyes…

* * *

_No! Leave him alone!_

* * *

The magician was trying to do something. Syaoran could feel magic festering just above. The seal broke and with it, the voice in his head grew quieter. A magic circle manifested from his right eye, and with it a whirlpool roared to life around them, leaving them breathing air and surrounded by its rushing waters.

Bright, glowing writing formed at the tips of the magician’s fingertips. It flooded towards him, converging on the seal above his head.

* * *

_I’m not leaving! I can’t leave you with them! Fai-san! Sakura!_

* * *

Another magic circle, another presence. Someone else was coming. The magician’s magic was persistent. The voice in his head shifted from soft to deafening.

* * *

_Sakura!_

* * *

The magician’s spell was blasted back.

And just like that, it was gone.

In its place was a simple talisman. A yin-yang.

Syaoran reached up to take it.  He inspected it for a second and then looked to the magician, who was looking at him with a different look from before atop the platform. Before it had been fear. Now he looked sad. Defeated.

Why? Syaoran hadn’t even laid a hand on him yet.

Syaoran dropped the talisman. It rolled to the magician and came to a stop at his feet, just like Syaoran had meant it to. The magician bent down to pick it up. He stood up slowly, as if trying not to startle him.

“Syaoran-kun…” he said. His voice did not quake. It was steady, it was sure.

Yet defeated.

He swung a kick to the magician’s neck that sent him flying backwards.

Weak.

He knew of the magician’s power. He knew that now that the other one was gone, he would not use it again. He would not use his magic against him.

He also knew that the creature Mokona was not the only one that could sense a feather’s presence.

“Is that the only feather in this world?”

When the magician didn’t answer, Syaoran dug the tip of his boot under his torso and flipped him over with a milder kick. He knelt down to his level and took him by the neck, just as he had the vampire.

“You use magic. That eye is the source of your magic, isn’t it?” Syaoran cupped the magician’s face and let his thumb softly stroke the corner of one eye.

“I may need it to find the rest of the feathers.”


	2. Nicknames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You use magic.” Syaoran murmured as he loomed over him. Fai felt the denial at the tip of his tongue, like so many times before. Yes, but he wouldn’t use it. Not before and especially not now, not after it had failed him, failed Syaoran so terribly. He wouldn’t hurt Syaoran.  
> “That eye is the source of your magic, isn’t it?” He felt as the boy’s fingers left his throat and trailed a soft caress across the side of his face. The feeling of this Syaoran’s hand on his face had an uncanny resemblance to the moments before Fai had put Ashura to sleep.  
> That hadn’t been Ashura.  
> And this wasn’t Syaoran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's been like a year and im sorry but also if i edit this anymore my eyes r gonna fall outta my skull and

“Is that the only feather in this world?”

The hand wrapped around his throat was cold, so cold. Fai struggled to breathe while simultaneously trying to keep himself from struggling. Fighting would make this hurt more, wouldn’t it? He wouldn’t hurt Syaoran, he wouldn’t, couldn’t. Despite that, Syaoran’s grip tightened.

“You use magic.” Syaoran murmured as he loomed over him. Fai felt the denial at the tip of his tongue, like so many times before. Yes, but he wouldn’t use it. Not before and especially not now, not after it had failed him, failed Syaoran so terribly. He wouldn’t hurt Syaoran.

“That eye is the source of your magic, isn’t it?” He felt as the boy’s fingers left his throat and trailed a soft caress across the side of his face. The feeling of this Syaoran’s hand on his face had an uncanny resemblance to the moments before Fai had put Ashura to sleep.

 

That hadn’t been Ashura.

And this wasn’t Syaoran.

 

The boy who smiled and treasured books, fought for his princess, and treated the past with respect and reverence had been warm, so warm.

The hand on his face feigned gentleness. The very face of the boy seemed to mock Fai. After all, Fai had failed to keep his son from being torn apart at the seams. Syaoran had struggled to keep control. Fai had felt him trapped inside what used to be his body, a thread of his consciousness being pulled too tight when finally it had snapped.

“I may need it to find the rest of the feathers.”

Fai couldn’t feel him anymore. The cold, unfeeling boy before him, the one that was kneading tense circles at the corner of his eye with his thumb was not the kindhearted boy Fai had learned to care for. This one was sharper-eyed, expressionless, and altogether too clever. He knew he didn’t even need to hold Fai captive. He knew Fai wouldn't run. This Syaoran knew that Fai had a job to do, and he wouldn’t shirk from his duty.

He didn’t have a choice.

If his life wasn’t his, then by extension neither was his magic.

Fai did nothing but stare blankly at the boy hovering over him menacingly. Fai thought it odd, even a bit disconcerting and certainly almost funny how odd the entire situation was. Not just because according to Wang, this was nowhere in the plans and thus should not be occurring so soon. Not that, but because Syaoran for all that he was tough and strong, could never pull off looking this terrifying. His boy had been a force to be reckoned with, to be sure. But there had been a righteousness to him. He meted out hard justice, not cruelty.

He wouldn’t hurt Syaoran, Fai told himself. Chanted it, repeating it like one of his spells, over and over and over. If there was still a chance that Syaoran lived, that he was trapped inside as Fai had felt in those last few moments, then he couldn’t hurt him. Sakura would want him saved. Sakura would cry, and Syaoran wouldn’t want Sakura to cry.

But this wasn’t Syaoran, a traitorous thought cried from the back of his mind. Syaoran was gone, gone, bring him back.

It didn’t register as pain, not at first. At first it was a dull pressure at the corner of his left eye, almost like an old bruise that wouldn’t quite heal. Fai could almost ignore his vision clouding around the edges. He forced himself to keep his gaze on Syaoran’s face, his lips downturned in a concentrated frown that resembled all those times he pored over books and translations, desperate to make the clues come together. It was a fond jumble of memories that replayed in his head as the pressure turned sharp and sudden. Syaoran’s fingers dug in, intrusive and unwelcome and _wrong_. He heard his screams get swallowed by the sound of the water rushing around them.

His vision blurred and left him as his intact eye instinctively closed in self-preservation. His magic, which usually rushed to his fingertips and kept him well protected and safeguarded against lesser threats was faltering, confused. He wasn’t defending himself. This wasn’t an enemy, this was Syaoran.

Syaoran’s fingernails had the intent to severe. His hand began to pull. The unbearable pulsing pain somehow managed to grow larger, his throat felt raw, and the feeling of incredible pressure was back. And just like that, the pressure broke, the hand withdrew, and half his magic was torn from him. His remaining eye was closed, but Fai could still see a red-black wash of colors against his eyelid. He still saw the waves of magic surrounding them, the bright light behind them that had to be Sakura, and the lesser, frantic and scared light of Mokona amidst a clutter of people somewhere up above. The left side of his face felt overly warm, and it was with a strange sense of disconnect that he realised it was because of the blood running down from his empty socket.

His remaining magic rushed back to its fixed point, alert, almost alive. Wary. It was still trying to keep Fai aware of his surroundings, like with the magical door back in LeCourt. It kept him distracted from the pain. The brightest light was directly in front of him now, he could feel it fidgeting, uncomfortable, a mirror of his own despair. Then it was engulfed, it disappeared into a maw of darkness.

 

_Crunch_

 

His body hit the ground with a dull _thud_. He was in between consciousness and unconsciousness, struggling to keep up with what little he could process through the pain. His arm was grabbed, and he was being dragged along the wet, cold, hard ground. There was a commotion, he could hear it. Shouting, shoving. Ah. Kuro-rin. He could hear his voice now above the din and the steady chewing noises right next to him.

His arm dropped and instead he was being hoisted up by his shirt.

“Stop it!” Came a roar from above. The hand that had been hovering over his right eye was yanked back, and Fai felt a rush of air as Kurogane landed besides them. “You ate it didn’t you!? His eye?”

Another rush of air, and the sound of hard contact made on flesh, then coughing. Fai couldn’t open his eye to watch even if he wanted to. It was hard enough to listen past the blood rushing in his ears. He felt weak, getting weaker as the seconds passed and his body demanded he rest to make up for the blood leaking sluggishly down his face.

“I’ll take the right eye too.” Syaoran spoke of him as if he weren’t even human. Syaoran would never speak of him as if he weren’t human.

“Hand him over.” The words were spoken as a threat. No. Kuro-tan would never hurt Syaoran.

But Syaoran disregarded the menacing words, “The source of his magic is in both blue eyes. After I take both, he won’t be able to use it.”

“Hand him over.”

He felt soft breath warm the sweat-drenched hair on his forehead. He felt warmth and teeth press against the bone of his skull as he involuntarily flinched. He felt as Kurogane’s hand wrenched Syaoran’s hands from his shirt, and the same hand quickly held him before he fell. He heard Syaoran being flung across the room and heard a sickening crack echo around them.

Kurogane wouldn’t hurt Syaoran. He had just broken his arm, by the sound of it, but he wouldn’t hurt Syaoran.

“You aren’t the kid.” There it was. The affirmation that Fai had been dreading upon hearing the man’s voice in the reservoir. “Your aura is different. But you aren’t a different guy.” Confusion was evident in his voice.

“I will get the feathers back.” The boy almost sounded like Syaoran as his voice faded out and he lit up in the glyphs Fai had taken years to master. “No matter what.”

Fai had been weak, once again. He had let sentimentality cloud his judgement again, given this young man a deadly weapon to wield against what was left of his family. He had tried to give him back his heart. The shock of his magic being used against him and Kurogane barely registered as the inviting emptiness of unconsciousness called to him.

 _“And for what?”_ He absently chided himself as he felt Kurogane’s arm around him tighten as he braced himself against the onslaught of his magic gone awry. Another arm enveloped him as debris littered the air and dust made it harder to breathe. He took comfort in that, being held. “ _For the off chance you will be able to save him in the future? With what power? With what luck?”_

If only the princess were able to bottle it. Maybe then they would be able to keep their little family safe and together. Far away, something was happening. There was shouting, too much shouting, too near. Kurogane again, always so loud and abrasive. Fai wished he could voice the thought, if only to see the flicker of amusement on Kuro-pi’s face before he covered it in a scowling mask.

If only to see…

There was a disturbance, Fai felt a portal open, and then he felt nothing.

* * *

 

Around him were lowered voices, concerned muttering, and the soft sound of Mokona crying when Fai blearily came to.

He didn’t open his eye. He felt someone dabbing at the blood welling at his empty socket. They were talking about a risk of infection, a lack of medical supplies, a surgery, and the chance that it could all be for naught. After everything, the shock alone might kill him. Funny. He didn’t feel like he was in shock. He actually felt quite calm, if still deathly tired. He just wished they wouldn’t worry and save their medical supplies.

“What will happen to Fai?” he heard Mokona whimper. He heard the heavy silence that followed.

Questions made their way through the fog in his brain. What had happened to Sakura? Was she still trapped under the water? Surely Kurogane and Mokona had seen to it that she made it out. And Syaoran? Where had he gone? Had Wang managed to spirit him away after all?

One question was answered almost immediately. If he concentrated, he could feel Sakura’s soft glow on the bed besides him. The second one was trickier. Syaoran was there, but this one felt different in a way the clone had felt the same. So the original had tried to right Wang’s wrongs, hadn’t he?

“Yuuko!” Mokona cried desperately, “Yuuko!”

Through what was left of his magic, Fai could feel the connection between this world and hers.

“Fai’s going to die, Yuuko, please!” Mokona’s sobbing broke his heart, made him almost keep the words locked behind his lips, but…

“Don’t.” Fai managed to rasp out. There was the sound of movement as everyone hastened to get closer, to check on him. He kept his eye shut and kept talking, decision made. “If I live, Syaoran’s magic will also live. It’s only half of my magic, but it’s still too great. You… won’t be able to stop him.”

“Fai!” Mokona’s cry was in both relief and disbelief. He kept his eye closed. The witch would understand. She had to know. There was a chance she didn’t but she must at least suspect. She wouldn’t let him live-

There was a disruption, the sound of a fist hitting a wall, so loud it must have left a considerable dent. Fai resisted the urge to look, he kept himself from reacting. Only his pained grimace could give him away, but then, that could all be blamed on the eye.

“What kind of a person would resign himself to that!?” Kuro-tan’s voice was quiet, angrier than Fai had ever heard it. Mokona protested, but Fai heard him stalk over, felt himself be lifted by the collar of his shirt once more by a hand that didn’t bother to be gentle. Being jostled so only made the pain worse, and he blacked out for a second before coming back from the comfort of sleep.

Oh, it would be so much easier to let sleep take him again. But the ninja was demanding, shaking him to get a reaction. Fai forced a small smile as he gave in to temptation and opened his eye.

“I’m sorry.” he breathed. Kuro-chi’s expression was terrible. It faded out of existence as Fai lost consciousness again.

* * *

 

The talking was louder the next time around, raised voices and loud disagreements. He was being held against a warm, solid chest, with a large hand cradling the back of his head. There was a soft voice, one he didn’t recognize from any of the people in the Government Office. It was trying to console Kamui of all people. It was an argument he didn’t understand, so he paid it no mind.

“Will Fai turn into a vampire? Will he have to suck the blood of lots of people, like in that book Yuuko showed me once?” said Mokona’s tearful voice. That surely got his attention. So the new voice must be whomever had been stuck underwater with Sakura-chan. A vampire, then, like Kamui must be. Made sense, Kamui had never felt human.

“He will if he receives the blood and nothing else,” Yuuko-san was saying. “Kurogane, that Fai does not die is your request. Fai does not wish for it. Therefore, the responsibility for making him live must also fall on you.”

_What?_

“What must I do?” Kuro-puu’s voice.

_No._

“You will become his ‘prey’.” Yuuko stated, voice grave. “When he drinks Subaru’s blood, he will drink yours with it. That will make him only be able to accept your blood. He will not drink anyone’s blood but yours.”

_No no no no no no no no no_

“But, but that means...if anything happens to Kurogane, Fai will…” Mokona hesitated to finish her thought.

Yuuko had no such qualms. “He will die.” she affirmed.

No, Fai could not let this stand. He began to fidget, trying to gain back control of his body, to protest. The hands on him softened in their grip. They didn’t know what that would do. He had to die, it was the only way-

“I get it. I’ll pay the price for the water, now hand over the blood.”

Fai finally found his voice, “Stop…”

“YOU SHUT UP!”

It was the undertone of fear in the shout more than anything that startled him enough to force his eye open. He stared up at Kurogane, who looked like he would like nothing more than any excuse to finish him off.

“If you want to die so badly, I’ll kill you myself. But until then, you’re going to live.” He snarled. He couldn't kill. Fai knew, knew even before Yama that Kurogane wouldn't,  _couldn't_ , kill. But he wasn't lying. He would do it. For him. For him. What wasn't he willing to do why why why  _why?!_

 

_Oh._

 

Fai could do little more than gape at him, his eye wide, his mouth hanging open. His defense mechanism kicked in without a thought. Fai huffed a weary laugh and smiled while on the inside he screamed.

_Don't. Please. Let me die. I WANT to die._

The vampires were talking, and Kuro-sama was staring at Fai with a determined expression while he listened. Yuuko had told him to give up his lifeblood and he had taken every word as gospel, not even pausing to think. The witch's words were on par with an order from the Tsukuyomi. He was her puppet, unbeknownst to him, and he would not hesitate.

"Don't." Fai begged. He _begged._ If he could, if his body didn’t feel like stone, he would have grasped at Kurogane’s arm and beseeched he reconsider.

_Save yourself by not saving me, Kuro-tan. Save yourself, save the children. Please._

Kurogane tore his gaze away, and for a split second Fai felt relief. To die on his terms and leave his family safe from him and his betrayal. Relief that this man would trust him enough to respect his decision. But Kurogane had looked up to accept the vampire’s outstretched hand. A claw slit his wrist, and they held their bleeding arms over Fai. He saw their blood pool together, overflow and leak. In a thoughtless moment, Fai opened his mouth to choke out one last protest. His throat already felt raw, he had no strength left but he had to be heard.

But before he could say another word, the first taste of iron fell at the corner of his lips, and the world disappeared around him. Pain wracked through him, the air left his lungs, his throat closed up, his heartbeat pounded in his ears even as his blood seemed to still in his veins. It was worse than losing the eye but not nearly as terrible as losing Syaoran. But if he could survive that, surely he could survive this.

Even with his eye wide open, all he saw was red. All he felt was red. And part of it were those eyes that repeated what the voice had and hadn’t said.

_If you want to die so badly, I’ll kill you myself. But you'll die for the right reason. This, now, is cowardice. I won't tolerate your goddamn selfishness._

And amidst the pain, the sheer horror of it all, as his body convulsed and his hands hastened to hold onto something, anything, as he felt strong arms try to hold him down, a traitorous voice in his mind whispered triumphantly.

_He loves you. He loves you, and it's what you've always wanted._

It was the same pathetic hope that he could have something. Despite everything, despite it all, he had wanted something good. The same hope that had helped him breathe as they traveled, that kept him smiling.

The hope that kept him alive, that was the reason behind the rough patches of skin on his fingertips that betrayed scars that would never completely fade.

That hope was unbearably, irrevocably still there.

But now he was choking on it.

He couldn’t get air in his lungs, couldn’t breathe past the pain, past his screams. There was a steady hand at his back, another on his shoulder as Fai’s hands grappled for purchase on cotton-shrouded shoulders. The sounds of the others faded away as they retreated, and the world condensed until all that existed was the pain, and Kurogane trying his best to see him through it. To see him come out of it alive.  

There was something Fai should have realized sooner. He, who was the child raised in a court that cursed his birth. He, who survived on the hatred he had for himself and his own existence and how he hindered the other one. He saw the hate in the dead king’s lifeless eyes. And he learned how to live despite that hate, and almost because of it, because by then he had been told that it was unfounded and he was blameless.

Only to hate himself again as he gazed into the cold pool of water, at dark hair fanned out in waves. With blonde hair shimmering next to it.

Fai had an intimate relationship with hate.

And yet Fai had failed to see, and failed to understand. He had watched that strange ninja storm about, waving his sword at anything that moved as a coping mechanism for what he had taken to be unjust punishment, even betrayal. Kurogane had expressed hatred at having to do anything for anyone else, despite the fact that he gave his help without being asked. He hated pointless things, he hated sweet foods, he hated landing at the bottom of the traveller dogpile. He hated his own inability not to care, he hated a weakness that he was too blind to realize didn’t exist in him. He hated each new sky, and each world that wasn’t his own.

He hated protecting the Princess because he hated that anyone would dare hurt her. He hated teaching the kid because he hated that someone so young had to fight so many. He hated Mokona because she sometimes managed to make him smile, and it disturbed his reputation.

He hated Fai, and he hated Fai’s laugh and Fai’s smile and his voice and his lies and his truths, his inability to be cruel and his denial of kindness. Kurogane hated and hated without restraint. And Fai had struggled to come to terms with the fact that he had understood, and understood long ago, what hating someone with so much fervor meant for a man like Kurogane.

Kurogane didn’t hate him at all.

Fai came back to himself for the third time, but he didn’t feel like himself. His death and release had been stolen from him, just like his life. His senses were heightened. He opened his eye, braced himself against the bed and a strong shoulder and didn’t like what he saw. It took no time for his vision to adjust, to feel the warmth of the body he had been clinging to. The bandages around his ruined eye were slipping off, he was drenched in sweat and his own blood. Blood. He could smell it, and he let his hand slide off Kurogane’s shoulder to rest on his thigh. He was panting, he gulped down grateful lungs of air when he realized breathing didn’t hurt any longer.

Fai raised his head to look Kurogane in the eye. He was still holding onto him, supporting too much of Fai’s weight. Kurogane’s face was concerned, afraid, cracked open in a way Fai had never seen before, and doubted he’d see again. Their eyes met, gazes locked, and Fai felt an overwhelming sense of resignation and relief flood him at the same time.

He had been saved, just like he had wished all those years. He had love, but the pain of betrayal stung worse than his wounds. Just like before, like every instance in his damned life since that first time, he hadn’t been free to make his own decisions. Fai remembered that Syaoran was gone, and in his place was the retreating back of the reminder that Fai’s second chance at life was still not his own. His grip on Kurogane slackened, and he gave in to the heaviness in his bones.

This time when he felt dreams beckon, he tried to remember that all he had a right to feel was hate.

 

* * *

 

 

“Good morning, Kurogane.”

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nicole kidman voice* comments are a girl's best friend!


	3. Alternatives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything would be okay, because Sakura was going to fix everything. She would get back to the Tower, she would get away before Fai had any more reason to hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short i moved to Japan hey hi here i am also that means i don't have my huge bookshelf at my disposal whenever i get in the writing mood so this is not as canon-y as the rest of this series because i have no reference material other than my damn memory.

Fai looked small in his sleep. He was curled in on himself on the hard bed. His hair was tinged a rusty copper.

Sakura didn’t like the eye-patch, but then, she supposed that having his missing eye  uncovered would be even worse.

“Syaoran gave it to him,” Mokona told her. Syaoran had held it out to Kurogane as an offering and Kurogane had fastened it around Fai’s head, careful not to get any hair tangled in the knot.

Kurogane did not look fine. He had a serious expression on his face, as he often did. But Sakura could tell he was tired. He was tired and kept looking at Fai like he wanted to be angry but he couldn’t find it in himself to be. He looked like the world was on his shoulders, and Sakura was angry at herself for not being able to do a thing to help. Fai was unconscious, he lost an eye and gained the life of a creature he hadn’t wanted to become. But Sakura couldn’t blame Kurogane for having made his decision. As much as she hated for Fai to be suffering, she didn’t want him dead.

Even if he had asked for it, as Mokona told her. Mokona did most of the storytelling. Syaoran seemed unsure of what to do with himself and Kurogane didn’t seem too keen on speaking.

Even if he had begged for it, as Mokona rectified.   

Sakura felt a surge of protectiveness over Fai. He had done so much for her, they all had. This time, she would help. Kurogane gave her the chance, gave her the choice, and this time she would do her part.

“Kurogane-san?” she called quietly. But what was the choice, really?

“Hn.” he grunted from his spot across the bed, leaning his weight against a pillar.

The vampires left them, as did the rest of the people of the tower. Some assured her they would find her some clothes and a rain cloak for her journey. Others wanted to get away from the foreigners who had threatened their water supply. Most left them to their privacy, aware that they were a family going through trying times. 

Sakura sat with Fai’s head nestled in her lap. She wiped away traces of blood with the edges of her dress. Mokona stood next to Fai’s feet, a hand resting on him protectively. Syaoran stood off to the side, an odd ornament to the room. Oddly placed, sticking out like a sore thumb, almost as if he didn’t belong in the picture. Sakura tried to bite back the feeling that it was true. It wasn’t. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t him.

The thought struck her: Syaoran would have opposed her decision, vehemently. He would have argued and she would have probably let him change her mind. He was always so insistent on protecting her. 

 

Syaoran.

_Stay here, Sakura-hime._

 

But not just him.

 

Kurogane.

_Princess, get back!_

Fai.

_Come on, Sakura-chan, let’s leave the fighting to those two hot-heads._

 

Mokona.

_Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan, we need to go somewhere safe!_

 

Always worried for her safety, always ready to take care of her. Using themselves as shields. It was her turn.

“...Thank you for letting me do this.” She said. She looked up to try to meet Kurogane’s eyes. It was easy. He was looking right at her. When their eyes met, she watched as his gaze flicked down to the man resting on her before settling on her again.

“It’s what you want.” he said.

Sakura felt a surge of affection and confusion all at once. He had given her a choice. He had given her a choice even considering that he knew that she may die. Kurogane knew the risks, knew that what she asked for might have the same result as what Fai had begged for. And he had told her yes and him no. What did that mean? What did it mean for Fai, what did it mean for her?

She really, really wanted to ask him. But she knew she wouldn’t get an answer, no matter how much he liked her.

Off to the side, Syaoran still looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“And thank you too.” she directed at him.

“Princess, you have nothing to thank me for.” This time, he did speak. 

Sakura didn’t have it in her to smile at him. Instead she looked down at Fai’s motionless face. She wanted to lie down next to him, hold his hand. But she had already slept long enough.

The thought still swirled in her head, relentless. It seemed important. What did it mean? She had expected an argument, prepared her points, but Kurogane simply stepped aside and let her.

What did it mean, what did it mean? Did it even mean anything?

* * *

 

“Yes, I understand.” She told the nice man who was teaching her how to work the moto. She pushed aside her hesitation and mounted it smoothly, revving the engine to life with a twist to the handle. She allowed herself one last glance back at her family before she left them behind in a cloud of dust.

* * *

 

She climbed. She climbed with a metal rod piercing her calf and blood trailing down her arms. Her knees were scraped so raw all she could feel was wet and sharp pain when she used them to leverage herself up further.

She would survive this. She had to, and she knew she could. There was a certain comfort in knowing your own death lay a universe away. And even if it weren’t for her newfound dreams, Sakura wanted to live. She had so much she wanted to do, people she cared about waiting for her, and she knew better than anyone how painful it is to wait.

“Oh.” She hissed, half in pain and half in realization. Kurogane knew she would come back or die trying, because that is what he would do. He would do anything in his power to not keep them waiting, knowing that with his strength, everything would be okay.

Everything would be okay, because Sakura was going to fix everything. She would get back to the Tower, she would get away before Fai had any more reason to hate.

He would hate Kurogane when he awoke, wouldn’t he? He would hate Kurogane for taking away his choice and taking away his chance at death.

“Oh.” She said when she spotted the egg glowing softly nestled in rods and weathered cement. Kurogane gave her the choice because he knew she would fight to stay alive. All Fai had ever wanted was to die.   

 _ _“__ _ _Oh.__ _ _”__  Sakura thought as she gazed up into maw of the giant creature bearing down on her. She struggled to reach for her gun in time. She managed to grab it, managed to twist and grimaced in pain at the jolt the movement sent down her leg. She braced for the recoil and fired, fanning out shots and conflicted when she saw they were meeting their mark.

When the creature fell, Sakura resisted the urge to wretch. She killed it. She entered its home, startled it, stolen from it, and killed it.

It had probably been just as panicked as she was.

Her vision swam as she pulled herself up, standing against a jutting rock. 

 _ _“__ _ _Oh.__ _ _”__ she thought again. Fai would hate Kurogane because Kurogane loved Fai.  

* * *

 

Pain.

She was in so much pain, her vision blurred with it and the blood dripping from her temple. She couldn't see straight. Her leg, it hurt the most. Putting any pressure on it was agony, and she wasn't sure she would be able to make it all the way back to the tower.

If only there were another way! Sakura laughed, a little delirious as she suddenly had the thought that she wished she had learned to walk on her hands, like her brother Touya could. She remembered him, half drunk and giddy with it, making Yukito chase him around the halls after dark as he shuffled around on the balls of his hands. She giggled at the end of the hall and cheered him on as Yukito begged her not to. But he would be fighting to hold back a laugh while he admonished Touya that it was not appropriate behavior for a young king. Too young a king. But Touya made the best of it, just as she had. Their kingdom had done well, they had done a good job, and both Touya and Yukito had a lot to be proud of.

Sakura would smile, but Fai was right; it was too hard to smile sometimes. She thought of them and her heart hurt.

But not as much as her leg.

The compass was broken. She felt a twinge of remorse and guilt. She would have to apologize to Fuuma.

* * *

 

 

The ghosts led her home. Sakura saw her family gathered far off, three distinct figures against the light of the tall towers. The ghosts seemed to be encouraging her, motioning her to move, just a little bit closer, almost there. She didn’t have the breath to offer them gratitude. Her leg was dragging along, she only used it as support for when her other leg went to take another step.

Had they seen her yet? Could she stop? Her vision was swimming, only the voices of the ghosts were guiding her now. She wanted nothing more than to fall, let the acid rain bite through her, but she didn’t. Her choice was to live. She held the egg carefully, nestled it against her breast. She used her hand to guard it from the rain. If she fell, it might break, and she had already broken the compass.

Touya would chide her for being clumsy. Yukito would stare him down and assure Sakura that it wasn’t her fault, some things were just meant to happen. Touya would probably chip in that it had never had a chance, alright, but only because Sakura had two left feet. 

It wouldn’t have ended well for Touya. As much as Yukito smiled, and as gentle and caring as he was, Sakura knew that his disapproval was a harsh thing to withstand. 

Her family.

Fai saw her first. She managed to see him give a start, and then make his way towards her, Kurogane and Syaoran right behind him. Sakura felt relief. Her knees buckled on their own, and Sakura only managed to cup the egg in both hands protectively before feeling her knees scrape against the rough, rocky ground. She made herself fall to the side instead of forward, and tried to tuck her hands under the shelter of her ragged cloak.

“Sakura-chan!” She could hear Fai’s voice, calling out to her. She could feel his arm winding around her middle and hoisting her up while his free hand took the egg she offered up and handed it to Syaoran without a second glance. “Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!”

She knew to expect the horror in their eyes, she knew the extent of her injuries. But Fai wasn’t looking at her leg. He held her right hand in his own and he stared at her bloodied fingertips with a horror she knew would haunt her dreams. Perhaps the explanation would be in her dreams, now that she had them. Now that she knew what they were.

When her eyes closed, Fai faded away and she saw Yukito’s sweet face hovering over her, tight with concern. A nice memory. Hopefully it would lead to a nice dream, too.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONTO THE CHESS GAMES


End file.
